Emotional Regulation and Sleep: A Two-Way Relationship We Can’t Ignore

Sleep isn’t just rest—it’s emotional recovery, and without it, we lose the ability to cope with stress, anxiety, and daily challenges. PHOTO: Kampus Production

In a culture driven by performance, control, constant stimulation, and perfection, sleep often becomes collateral damage. However, according to Nadia Samuelsson, a licensed psychologist and founder of Nadia Samuelsson Therapy & Mindfulness Practice in Torre del Mar, Spain, our struggles with sleep go much deeper than poor bedtime habits.

“First, we need to reframe insomnia as more than a sleep issue,” Samuelsson explains. “It is often an emotional and cognitive rigidity issue, shaped by avoidance, perfectionism, trauma, and societal pressure. When we treat it only behaviourally, we risk missing the emotional roots.”

This perspective marks a powerful shift from the common narrative. Rather than viewing insomnia purely as a physical or behavioural disorder, Samuelsson highlights its strong emotional undercurrents—particularly the role of emotional regulation and how we manage internal states throughout the day.

The Emotional Roots of Sleeplessness

Insomnia, Samuelsson says, isn't just about tossing and turning or poor sleep hygiene. Increasingly, it's being linked to emotional dysregulation and something called “affect variability”—the natural, fluctuating shifts in our emotional state throughout the day.

“Insomnia patients do not just feel worse—they feel more intensely and less predictably,” she says. “Helping clients understand and work with these fluctuations, rather than against them, is a compassionate and effective path forward.”

This idea is echoed in emerging research. A study by Meneo et al. (2023) found that people with insomnia often experience higher emotional intensity and volatility. In practical terms, this means insomnia sufferers are more emotionally sensitive throughout the day and less able to return to emotional baseline—especially without adequate sleep.

Improving sleep starts with compassion, not control—acceptance and emotional awareness help break the cycle of restlessness. PHOTO: Kaboom Pics

The Science Behind the Cycle

The relationship between emotional regulation and sleep is circular—not linear.

“Sleep and emotional regulation are intimately connected in a two-way relationship,” Samuelsson explains. “The latest research shows that sleep deprivation impairs our mood and our ability to regulate emotional responses and use adaptive strategies.”

In other words, when you don’t sleep well, it’s harder to manage stress, anxiety, or even joy. And the kicker? That emotional dysregulation can lead to more disturbed sleep—creating a damaging cycle.

Lack of sleep impairs communication between the brain’s prefrontal cortex—responsible for self-regulation—and the amygdala, which controls emotional responses.

“As a result, we lose the ‘brakes’ that help us respond flexibly to emotional stimuli,” says Samuelsson. “This creates a state of hyperreactivity, especially to perceived harmful or threatening cues.” This is particularly problematic for those dealing with chronic insomnia, where coping mechanisms like thought suppression or worry actually amplify arousal at bedtime, further deepening the emotional and physiological unrest.

Why REM Sleep Matters

While all sleep is beneficial, certain stages play a more significant role in emotional processing. Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep, in particular, is essential for emotional integration and affective recalibration.

“During REM, heightened limbic activity and theta wave oscillations help process emotional memories in a way that supports psychological flexibility,” Samuelsson explains, referencing the work of van der Helm and Walker (2009). “When REM is fragmented—as it often is in PTSD, depression, or chronic insomnia—that adaptive process is disrupted.”

This disruption can leave people waking up with emotional residue from the day before, impairing their ability to regulate emotions effectively and potentially worsening mood-related disorders.

When we regulate our emotions, better sleep follows—and that’s when true mental and physical healing begins to take root. PHOTO: Ekaterina Bolovtsova

Emotional Regulation as Treatment

The good news? Strengthening emotional regulation skills can significantly improve sleep quality—and vice versa.

“Emotional regulation is often the missing piece in treating chronic insomnia,” Samuelsson emphasizes. “Clients who ruminate, suppress emotions, or catastrophize their sleep difficulties often enter a state of heightened physiological arousal at bedtime.”

To break the cycle, Samuelsson integrates tools from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which teaches clients to observe, rather than fight, their thoughts and emotions.

“When clients learn to observe thoughts and feelings without engaging in them—or anchor into values despite tiredness—their nervous system begins to downregulate naturally,” she explains. “These improvements are not just theoretical. They’re measurable within the first two to three weeks of treatment.”

Sleep as a Foundation for Mental Health

In the context of mood disorders like depression or PTSD, addressing sleep is essential—not optional. “Sleep quality is not just a symptom but a crucial treatment target,” says Samuelsson. “Without addressing sleep, we often miss the foundation for deeper recovery.”

This is especially true when it comes to positive mood. Samuelsson points to a study by Tomaso et al. (2021), which found that sleep deprivation had a greater negative impact on positive emotions than on negative ones. In other words, poor sleep diminishes the ability to feel joy—a core symptom of depression.

“Restoring REM sleep can reignite access to joy and motivation,” she adds.

For clients recovering from trauma, improvements in sleep often mark a turning point.“Once sleep improves—whether through ACT, EMDR resourcing, or mindfulness—they become more able to tolerate and process emotional material in therapy,” she notes.

Can Sleep Be a Gateway to Emotional Healing?

“Absolutely,” Samuelsson says. “For clients who are not ready for direct trauma work, sleep-focused interventions like mindfulness, ACT, or basic sleep hygiene can gently build emotional resilience.”

She highlights a study (Mansouri et al., 2021) which shows that ACT improves sleep, emotion regulation, and acceptance of sleep-related difficulties. Notably, improvements were seen early—within three weeks—and were sustained for months afterward.

“These strategies work not because they promise instant sleep, but because they reduce the struggle around sleep,” she explains. “And that creates space for rest to happen.”

Insomnia is often an emotional issue, not just a bedtime one—it’s shaped by perfectionism, trauma, and how we manage our inner world. PHOTO: SHVETS Production

Strategies That Work—Now

Samuelsson recommends several integrated strategies to support both emotional balance and better sleep:

• Mindfulness-Based Wind-Down Routine: “Use breath, grounding, or soothing imagery to reduce arousal before bed.”

• Cognitive Defusion (ACT technique): “Thank your mind for its input, then return to the present.”

• Values Anchoring: “If you’re awake, ask: How can I care for myself right now, even without sleep?”

• Sleep Hygiene Basics: Stick to consistent sleep/wake times, limit screen use, and avoid caffeine or alcohol late in the day.

• Self-Compassion Over Control: “Replace ‘I must sleep now’ with ‘It’s okay to rest even if sleep doesn’t come.’”
  

Samuelsson also encourages clients to track emotional fluctuations (affect variability) throughout the day, helping them better understand how mood patterns may be affecting their sleep.

A More Compassionate Path Forward

By viewing insomnia through the lens of emotional regulation, Samuelsson offers a more compassionate—and sustainable—approach to sleep challenges. It’s not just about getting to sleep faster; it’s about healing the inner systems that make restful sleep possible.

“Helping people see the emotional layers behind their sleep difficulties allows for deeper, lasting change,” she says. “It’s not just about sleep—it’s about how we relate to ourselves, our emotions, and our wellbeing.”

About Nadia Samuelsson

Nadia Samuelsson is a licensed psychologist and founder of Nadia Samuelsson Therapy & Mindfulness Practice in Torre del Mar, Spain. With a background in integrative psychotherapy, she focuses on mindfulness and trauma work—particularly through EMDR and body-based approaches. Nadia supports clients with emotional regulation, sleep-related challenges, and trauma recovery. Her work blends evidence-based methods with mindfulness to foster resilience and deeper emotional healing.

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